He Will Eat You

Chris: this mother fucker will eat you

Justin: I'd fight him.

Chris: not for long

Justin: I'd bite his tail.

Chris: hed smack the teeth out of your mouth

Justin: Nuh uh. I'd milk his pinkie.

Chris: you wont have a chance to touch his pinkie

Justin: Uh huh. I'd cover his eyes so he couldn't tell where I was.

Chris is now offline.

Good Answer

Guy 1: Would you rather eat a bag of dicks or a bag of balls?

Guy 2: balls

Guy 1: Good answer.

Guy 2: thanks

Maybe Sit Down When You Pee

When too-large-for-comfort spots of urine began appearing below a urinal in the men's bathroom, this note was attached to said urinal:


"To Whom it May Concern:

Dear whosoever has such a small penis that it cannot reach so far as to project its urine into the urinal, in the future please consider sitting on the toilet when you pee. It will likely feel more comfortable for you and will keep the restroom clean for those of us with larger phalli."



I took a picture with my phone, but then I dropped it in the toilet. It was a good picture.

Stomach Fart

Justin: I think I just farted into my stomach instead of out of my butt.

Eric: hahaha
you should probably go to the hospital so they can pump the fart out of your stomach
or do a handstand

Justin: It was REALLY loud. I don't have the urge to fart anymore, but my stomach feels full.

Eric: haha
that's interesting
maybe i should come a smell your belly button

Justin: Maybe I can poke a hole in my belly button to let it out.

Eric: YEAH
that would be fun
it would be like that little hole on a coffee bag
and when you squeeze it, little bits of smells come out
i could squeeze you, and little bits of farts come out

Justin: Perfect

Eric: this was a wonderful conversation
you need to save it, and put it on a blog

Justin: I'll copy and paste it right now.

Eric: perfect

To Whoever Threw Up ...

Subject: studio bathroom
Date: January 24, 2011 11:35:20 AM EST

To whoever threw up in the studio bathroom sink and left it… please use the toilet or trash can next time.

That would be greatly appreciated.