When too-large-for-comfort spots of urine began appearing below a urinal in the men's bathroom, this note was attached to said urinal:
"To Whom it May Concern:
Dear whosoever has such a small penis that it cannot reach so far as to project its urine into the urinal, in the future please consider sitting on the toilet when you pee. It will likely feel more comfortable for you and will keep the restroom clean for those of us with larger phalli."
I took a picture with my phone, but then I dropped it in the toilet. It was a good picture.
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